In a lighthearted letter, the author reminisces about his father's budgerigar, affectionately named Bobby the 'wanking budgie.' Bobby's favorite pastime involved a mirror with a bell, where he would engage in self-pleasuring antics that amused the family, especially his mother, who would comment humorously on his behavior. However, the fun took a turn when the vicar visited, leading to a mortified reaction from the author's mother. The letter also shares similar stories of other pets, including a flexible hamster and another budgie named Timmy, both of whom displayed amusing and unexpected behaviors. These anecdotes highlight the natural instincts of animals and the humor that pet ownership can bring, as the author reflects on the quirks of their beloved pets with fondness and laughter.